She stood at the sink in the kitchen
and doused their purple passion
for the third time that week
He stood in the dining room
his hands on the shoulders of a chair
watching something outside
She thought of last summer
him at the end of the train platform
watching for her
stretching to see her
She turned over a fuzzy leaf
squirted more poison
Kisses on the platform
lunch at the UN
the 3 o'clock train to his house
She scraped tiny white carcasses off the leaf
She met his eyes as she remembered
how they'd laughed
naked and sweaty
back at his house that day
She set the dripping plant between them
and watched the dead aphids pool in the poison
on the counter
Thursday, August 14, 2008
His Hands
They're just big
he'd say
as he turned his hands over
fingers spread
palm
back
palm
back
trying to see as she did
She loved his hands
perfect nails he'd clipped once a week
and had never bitten
broad square palms
that could cover
entirely
each of her breasts
fingers almost two inches longer than her own
They were the hands that held her
caressed her
They lashed out when he was angry
condor wings
ready for flight
She touched that finger
the finger that pulled the trigger
It had known the warmth inside her
but it was cold now
intertwined with the others
over the hollow of his chest
he'd say
as he turned his hands over
fingers spread
palm
back
palm
back
trying to see as she did
She loved his hands
perfect nails he'd clipped once a week
and had never bitten
broad square palms
that could cover
entirely
each of her breasts
fingers almost two inches longer than her own
They were the hands that held her
caressed her
They lashed out when he was angry
condor wings
ready for flight
She touched that finger
the finger that pulled the trigger
It had known the warmth inside her
but it was cold now
intertwined with the others
over the hollow of his chest
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Committal
There is something heartbreaking
about a friend who is normally
paint splattered and rusty
in a starched white collar and suit
You said it, but more heartbreaking
to me was his lumbering walk up the aisle
in those shining clothes
And the flaccid feel of his
newly-shaven cheekon my lips
in the receiving line And the pink tinge
around his eyes
that searched over my head
And the slight flare of his nostrils
as he introduced me to his sister
about a friend who is normally
paint splattered and rusty
in a starched white collar and suit
You said it, but more heartbreaking
to me was his lumbering walk up the aisle
in those shining clothes
And the flaccid feel of his
newly-shaven cheekon my lips
in the receiving line And the pink tinge
around his eyes
that searched over my head
And the slight flare of his nostrils
as he introduced me to his sister
I'll Call You Dusk
Dusk absorbs light on its way to darkness
and hinders the eye’s understanding
All that was clear in the chartreuse trees
becomes murky with the lowering sun
Even the pressure of your fingertips on my breast
though it lingered through the remainder of my day
moistening me
has become a rumor
Night falls after the last silver glow of orange
and I try to know your lips again
but they are gone
If I had known it would be the last time
I would have tasted all of you
I would have burned the feel
of your silky back onto my fingertips and
forced forever your nipples into the palms of my hands
and hinders the eye’s understanding
All that was clear in the chartreuse trees
becomes murky with the lowering sun
Even the pressure of your fingertips on my breast
though it lingered through the remainder of my day
moistening me
has become a rumor
Night falls after the last silver glow of orange
and I try to know your lips again
but they are gone
If I had known it would be the last time
I would have tasted all of you
I would have burned the feel
of your silky back onto my fingertips and
forced forever your nipples into the palms of my hands
Ethereal
I recite my favorite poem
and dream of a remedy for these
fantasies that keep me up at night
occupied in the twilight of dawn
until I rise and go to you
Not in a moist garden
lush with the heady scent of jasmine
my soles licked by dew
my ankles tickled by the wet lace
of my gauzy nightgown
No I suffer you in a gray cubicle
in the basement of a stark white building
and stare into your eyes
the color of the sea on an October morning
and dream of a remedy for these
fantasies that keep me up at night
occupied in the twilight of dawn
until I rise and go to you
Not in a moist garden
lush with the heady scent of jasmine
my soles licked by dew
my ankles tickled by the wet lace
of my gauzy nightgown
No I suffer you in a gray cubicle
in the basement of a stark white building
and stare into your eyes
the color of the sea on an October morning
Longing
Is it an illusion in which I delay
as your hair fades gray and thin
while I wait for news that we are
unshackled , unfettered, free
Free to know each other the way the sun
during an eclipse knows
to be cradled by the moon and accept being sheltered
left with only its bright shadow showing
Or are we as close as we will ever be
the situation between us
growing elderly as well
paper-frail but like iron too
But each of us knows
don’t we
as a wolf knows his mate from across
the frozen wasteland in which he survives
day after day on morsels of mice
and frozen lake
We knew like the wolf knows
didn’t we
drawn by the familiar scent and dip of the head
before the howl from before time
and the answer
from across gentle hills
long and low
before this time in which I sit
silently howling still
as your hair fades gray and thin
while I wait for news that we are
unshackled , unfettered, free
Free to know each other the way the sun
during an eclipse knows
to be cradled by the moon and accept being sheltered
left with only its bright shadow showing
Or are we as close as we will ever be
the situation between us
growing elderly as well
paper-frail but like iron too
But each of us knows
don’t we
as a wolf knows his mate from across
the frozen wasteland in which he survives
day after day on morsels of mice
and frozen lake
We knew like the wolf knows
didn’t we
drawn by the familiar scent and dip of the head
before the howl from before time
and the answer
from across gentle hills
long and low
before this time in which I sit
silently howling still
The Colors of November
Black clouds blow mostly bare trees,
their branches whipped low.
The green leaves of summer have gone
brown, chasing an 18 wheeler’s passing,
heading toward McDonald’s up the road.
Today it’s an ugly place, that called Five Corners
for the number of streets converging.
Blinking pink and blue neon,
hawking 99 cent lunches and selling gas.
It’s filth laid bare, blown by cool breezes.
And there’s the problem,
cool breezes…not bitter cold or even chilly,
not requiring a favorite coat drawn about your neck
or gloves, socks. I’m in shorts, for Christ’s sake!
Short sleeves, too.
The breeze is out of place,
wrong,for this day, for my mood.
It does nothing to lift me from the grit of dread
I cannot name. It’s been so long gone, this feeling,
that I’d forgotten it existed,
but here it is, full-blown and coarse,
old gray wool and dusty burlap.
It is times like these I wish I could hibernate,
sleep the winter through and wake to spots of snow
flowered with purple crocus and yellow forsythia.
their branches whipped low.
The green leaves of summer have gone
brown, chasing an 18 wheeler’s passing,
heading toward McDonald’s up the road.
Today it’s an ugly place, that called Five Corners
for the number of streets converging.
Blinking pink and blue neon,
hawking 99 cent lunches and selling gas.
It’s filth laid bare, blown by cool breezes.
And there’s the problem,
cool breezes…not bitter cold or even chilly,
not requiring a favorite coat drawn about your neck
or gloves, socks. I’m in shorts, for Christ’s sake!
Short sleeves, too.
The breeze is out of place,
wrong,for this day, for my mood.
It does nothing to lift me from the grit of dread
I cannot name. It’s been so long gone, this feeling,
that I’d forgotten it existed,
but here it is, full-blown and coarse,
old gray wool and dusty burlap.
It is times like these I wish I could hibernate,
sleep the winter through and wake to spots of snow
flowered with purple crocus and yellow forsythia.
The Amazing Cow Story
My friend, Dena, and I were in Saratoga Springs visiting friends of hers in the summer of 1995, and she and I decided to go for a walk before dinner. It was quite the bucolic scene around us, as we strolled up and down the rolling, gentle hills on roads flanked by dairy farms in the late afternoon on a blue-skied summer day. As we walked along, I noticed that the herd of cows to our left was held in their field by an electric fence. Now, when I was small my family lived in a farm-ish part of southern California, our neighbors had goats and sheep that also were held in a pen by an electric fence. And, as kids will, we found the adult-touted danger of the electric fence an unending source of amusement. One of our favorite things to do was to hold hands in a line, with the two end people holding onto the fence. This created another outlet for the electricity, and you could actually feel the current run through you.
In any event, lulled into a peaceful sense of nostalgia by the lovely scene around me, I told Dena about this and suggested we try it on the electric fence to our left. She was nervous and reluctant at first, but I pointed out that I and several other small children had done this on more than one occasion and had lived. Fortified with that information, we held hands and grabbed the fence.It was almost like I remembered…a tingling in the hand and forearm, a hum in the chest. We hung on for a few seconds and then let go with a scream that startled the herd of cows who stood gazing in our general direction. We laughed and turned to walk back to the house for dinner. We had gone about ten yards when I realized the cows were following us. I pointed this out to Dena, and she voiced disbelief. So in an effort to prove it to her, I suggested that we start walking faster and see if they increased their pace as well. We did so, and I noted to Dena that the cows were walking more quickly. We then passed another fence that ran perpendicular to the fence along the road, thereby halting the cows’ ability to follow us any further. There was much mooing and rustling within the herd at this discovery, so much so that we turned around to look at the cows.
We turned just in time to witness the biggest cow walk back along the road fence about ten yards, back up away from it a bit, run and jump through the fence so he was standing, much to his disbelief and to ours, in the middle of the road, looking intently at Dena and myself. Then, as though he’d raised a leg and swooped it over his head with a cheery, “C’mon, guys,” the rest of the herd followed him through the now broken fence onto the road.
After a brief huddle to discuss our thoughts and feelings about being faced with fifty loose cows, Dena and I decided the best course of action would be to ignore the cows and continue home.
Have you ever been followed down a dirt road by fifty cows? It's not something that is easily ignored, as cows cannot, it seems, step lightly. Nor do cows refrain from mooing and snorting when stalking their prey, I might add. We were going along pretty well until Dena stole a look over her shoulder and saw that the cows were much closer to us than the original ten yards. She suggested we pick up the pace. I concurred, and we started trotting.
Did you know cows trot quite effectively? I had no idea. As a matter of fact, I had no idea how agile the little buggers were until Dena and myself four ourselves at a dead run, pivoting around lawn furniture in the yard of the house next to ours, snorting, puffing cows hot on our heels. We made it into the house without incident and collapsed on the floor, panting and laughing. Her friends thought we'd found some funny mushrooms on our walk, until we advised that they take a peek out the kitchen window.
There, milling patiently on the lawn, were the cows. It was as though they wanted Dena and I to come out and address them. I suggested Dena stand on the upstairs balcony and sing “Don't Cry for Me, Lovely Holsteins” in an Evita-esque style, but she flat out refused. The cows hung around for a while, and then walked back to their field and let themselves in. When we left the next day we drove by the cows in the field not at all tempted by the broken fence.
In any event, lulled into a peaceful sense of nostalgia by the lovely scene around me, I told Dena about this and suggested we try it on the electric fence to our left. She was nervous and reluctant at first, but I pointed out that I and several other small children had done this on more than one occasion and had lived. Fortified with that information, we held hands and grabbed the fence.It was almost like I remembered…a tingling in the hand and forearm, a hum in the chest. We hung on for a few seconds and then let go with a scream that startled the herd of cows who stood gazing in our general direction. We laughed and turned to walk back to the house for dinner. We had gone about ten yards when I realized the cows were following us. I pointed this out to Dena, and she voiced disbelief. So in an effort to prove it to her, I suggested that we start walking faster and see if they increased their pace as well. We did so, and I noted to Dena that the cows were walking more quickly. We then passed another fence that ran perpendicular to the fence along the road, thereby halting the cows’ ability to follow us any further. There was much mooing and rustling within the herd at this discovery, so much so that we turned around to look at the cows.
We turned just in time to witness the biggest cow walk back along the road fence about ten yards, back up away from it a bit, run and jump through the fence so he was standing, much to his disbelief and to ours, in the middle of the road, looking intently at Dena and myself. Then, as though he’d raised a leg and swooped it over his head with a cheery, “C’mon, guys,” the rest of the herd followed him through the now broken fence onto the road.
After a brief huddle to discuss our thoughts and feelings about being faced with fifty loose cows, Dena and I decided the best course of action would be to ignore the cows and continue home.
Have you ever been followed down a dirt road by fifty cows? It's not something that is easily ignored, as cows cannot, it seems, step lightly. Nor do cows refrain from mooing and snorting when stalking their prey, I might add. We were going along pretty well until Dena stole a look over her shoulder and saw that the cows were much closer to us than the original ten yards. She suggested we pick up the pace. I concurred, and we started trotting.
Did you know cows trot quite effectively? I had no idea. As a matter of fact, I had no idea how agile the little buggers were until Dena and myself four ourselves at a dead run, pivoting around lawn furniture in the yard of the house next to ours, snorting, puffing cows hot on our heels. We made it into the house without incident and collapsed on the floor, panting and laughing. Her friends thought we'd found some funny mushrooms on our walk, until we advised that they take a peek out the kitchen window.
There, milling patiently on the lawn, were the cows. It was as though they wanted Dena and I to come out and address them. I suggested Dena stand on the upstairs balcony and sing “Don't Cry for Me, Lovely Holsteins” in an Evita-esque style, but she flat out refused. The cows hung around for a while, and then walked back to their field and let themselves in. When we left the next day we drove by the cows in the field not at all tempted by the broken fence.
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